yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
