There was a lot of him and a little penis
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize