I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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