i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize