I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Houston, we have a squirter
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
