You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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