We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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