There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
