She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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