like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
