If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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