Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
