he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
nutella sex= disaster
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
