I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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