They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
