So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
birth control should be required to get into college
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
