i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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