Three words: puerto rican gang bang
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
