Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it penis luge time yet?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize