another moral hangover. fuck.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
