Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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