Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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