Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
