I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She bit a glass in half.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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