I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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