but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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