It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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