I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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