So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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