this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
