did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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