i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My vagina just clenched in fear
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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