porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
