oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
