I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
