I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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