Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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