great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
