Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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