Sponge bath it is.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
