it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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