Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
