i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
