I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
