There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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