is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
