Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
