Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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