i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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