too bad you live with your parents still
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
