k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
