Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so let's talk penis.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
