I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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