I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
