She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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