Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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