hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
