just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
