you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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