i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize