I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
